Is it possible to get my ex back?

If you’ve just been dumped, you may be wondering if it’s really possible to get your ex back and have a relationship that works after that…

Provided that you do it in a way that works, I believe (and have seen many times over) that you can absolutely get your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back and then create a new relationship that will give you both the satisfaction and happiness that you want…

Couples definitely reunite and get over their differences.  As a Couple and Relationship Psychotherapist, I see the breaking up process as an often necessary part of helping couples to actually take the plunge of moving away from a relationship that doesn’t work at all, into one that does!

But you have to be careful, because as we all know, if you make one wrong move, you stand the risk completely losing the person you love forever. So it’s critical that you only do things that will maximize the chance of getting them back.

We’ve all heard the saying “well… it seemed like a good idea at the time”.  Now nowhere is this more relevant than in dealing with communication and relationships.  Unfortunately, what often feels like the best thing to do at the time is actually the very thing that will create the worst outcome in this situation. And the things you do just after a break up are a great example.

Part of you probably wants to call your ex and pour your heart out, hoping they’ll see the light and take you back… But most times, when we feel like doing that, we should really hold back and put a lid on it right there…

Part of you probably wants to your ex’s friends and find out what your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend has been up to.  Or to have their friends try to influence them to take you back… But again, it’s not a good idea, not now, not ever…

I’m referring to some great techniques, which have been proven time and time again to be effective in making up and reuniting lovers. They come from a great book by TW Jackson which takes you by the hand and shows you the steps to take to have the highest possible chance of getting them back.

Technique  Number 1:  Acceptance

The first technique is to agree with and accept the fact that your ex has actually broken up with you. This sounds odd.  “Of course they’ve broken up with me”.  No, I’m talking about really accepting that it’s true.  It can be very difficult to do and there will be a part of you that just doesn’t want to accept it on any level.  Chances are that you will have a bit of an internal battle before you’re really able to accept it.

Let me tell you why…  In a bizarre way, accepting their choice is a way of showing them some respect.  It gives them time to miss you again. Right now, they’re probably mad or upset with you… (Especially if you’ve done any nagging about getting back together. ) But you need to accept that this is really where they are at RIGHT NOW!  Not necessarily forever, but for now this is REALITY!

Technique  Number 2: Stop communicating with them

The second technique you need to use is to temporarily cut off all communication (just for a while).  I’m not saying be awful and cold to them.  But to just stop communicating. You’re probably wanting to close your browser and stop reading this right now – but hold on… Stay with me… And you’re probably wondering “how is not communicating with them going to get them back?”

Let me explain… Stopping communication with them actually allows your ex time and distance from you in which to miss you.  Often, when we’ve broken up with someone, we communicate from our desperation.  You definitely don’t want them to see you as someone who is desperate!  That’s incredibly unattractive to anyone.  So taking a communication break not only allows you some time to feel desperate without them seeing you that way, but it also gives your ex time to cool down about the reasons for breaking up with you.

Technique Number 3: After some time has passed plan to meet them on a very social and casual basis

The next step is, after some time, to subtly plan an event where you two can chat as friends. Note that there are many crucial and critical steps in between these three, which are explained in TW Jackson’s great book: “Magic of Making Up“.

If you’re serious about getting your ex-back, be careful about your communication.  If you really want them back don’t risk making a false move that might push them even further away.

The techniques I’m referring to, come from a great book by TW Jackson called The Magic of Making Up, which my team and I have given a 4 star rating.

Check it out: Click here to get your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back and experience the magic of making up…