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Will Positive Thinking Help Me Get My Ex Back?

Author: Paul McNiff Return to list
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009   | Comments (1)

As a relationship therapist, my experience shows me that around 90% of most breakups can be reversed, or even stopped in their tracks, if the people involved are given the right tools to use.

Recently there’s been a lot of discussion about positive thinking processes and how this can impact your daily life and create what you desire. I regularly work with my clients, incorporating positive thinking processes that help them to get back with an ex. Time and time again, I’m amazed at just how effectively this type of thinking can be when used as part of the process to get an ex boyfriend, or ex girlfriend back, or even to create a new relationship with an ex wife or ex husband.

Positive thinking processes actually play a big role in any type of work on relationships and are crucial if a couple is working on recreating their relationship to serve them both better and have them both feel satisfied and nurtured!

It’s agreed that our mind and our imagination are definitely some of the most powerful tools on our planet. The human mind has created so many amazing and brilliant things, such as airplane travel and wireless communications and data devices. How we use it can be both positive and negative, and, if left to it’s own devices it can unconsciously create havoc or reinforce the pain in your life.

We all use our minds all day… And mostly, when people experience a break up, especially if they’ve been dumped, they’re thinking painful, self destructive thoughts about being alone and sad. Focusing your mind on negative, painful thoughts like this will create even more pain, and enhance the pain that we’re feeling!

When we’re feeling these types of emotions, we often feel hopeless and project negativity onto our own futures (almost without any idea that we’re doing it!). Our mind actually dictates our reality on so many levels. Even right now your mind is subtly influencing how you feel about what you’re reading and what you think about your own future in relation to it.

Let’s look at an example of your mind actively impacting your thoughts and feelings: If the office of the state lotteries phoned you right now and told you that you’d just won the lottery. Even though you’re currently experiencing the pain of your break up, there’s a strong likelihood that you’d quite suddenly find yourself feeling very differently than you were feeling before they rang. You may even briefly forget about your hurt and your break up for a moment. And, you might be feeling this way despite the fact that nothing has physically changed in your life. You don’t physically have the winnings yet… No money has changed hands. It’s all just a thought.

This is because you’d be experiencing a sense of “hope” and your mind would be telling you that things are going to get better and easier! Nothing has physically changed, but how you feel right now would be quite altered! So, as you can see, your mind is completely responsible for this change in your mood. You can use this to help you get your ex back as well. Let’s look at how…

The best first step is to imagine your ex already back in your life. Really take a moment to contemplate how you’d be feeling when that is the reality! What will you feel when you wake up knowing that they’re by your side, loving you and nurturing you? I know this might sound a little “wishy washy” to some people… and I agree with you. There is absolutely more to it than merely thinking about something and it will just happen… But for the time being, rather than letting your mind pre-consciously create and project painful ideas and a loss of hope onto your future, how about deliberately deciding to use your thoughts to create renewed “hope” for your life and your relationship instead?

And let’s face it, your mind is working around the clock, creating your moods, impacting your feelings and putting energy into the things that you’re passionately focusing on. It’s a well known fact that what we focus on with strong intention and energy expands and grows… Wouldn’t you rather focus your thoughts on what you want (which is getting your ex back into your life and your arms) rather than focusing on the pain and loss? I’m sure you would! After all, focusing on the pain actually reinforces that as valid and keeps the pain feelings strong and present in your body.

Naturally, as I mentioned above, there are some necessary action steps you must take to boost this process as well because obviously just sitting around and imagining how to get your ex back won’t make it happen. And just hoping it will and thinking about how to get back with your ex won’t do it either. It’s like pretending that just sitting and thinking about how to play tennis will make you a great player. It won’t, but it will potentially have some impact on you if you’re also doing some practice!

I’ve written a few articles about steps you can take to help the process of getting your ex back into your life for good, but I highly recommend the Magic of Making Up program, which I recommend to my own clients as a great resource because it really puts it all together in a very easy to read, concise, and yet profoundly effective way…

Anyway, let’s get back to positive thinking… For the moment, a good starting step is to just begin to take notice of how your thoughts automatically and habitually create and affect your feelings… and make a pact with yourself: Decide that from now you’re going to use your thoughts to purposely create “hope” in your mind about getting your ex back, rather than increasing your sadness and feelings of being alone.

There are definitely some vital steps you need to take to reinforce this visualization process, which I’ve covered in other articles. As I mentioned above, I highly recommend The Magic of Making Up process both to my clients and to you, if you’re wanting to get your ex back and recreate an amazing relationship. It’s an easy step-by-step process that anyone can follow, which will take you by the hand and show you exactly what you need to do to win your ex back.

Click here and check out the video called
“How to get your ex back – opening move”
if you’re ready to take the actions required to get your ex back!
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